the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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