I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
