i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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