See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
