I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
