Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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