She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
