we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
