Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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