im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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