oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
