1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
