jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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