When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
