Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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