Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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