Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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