Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
