i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
