What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
