I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
