i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
