My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
