my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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