I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
