i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
