And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
