I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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