My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
