you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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