tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
