First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
