your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
