The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
