They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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