I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize