Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I need to calm my uterus...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
