So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize