just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize