I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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