Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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