We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
