You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
