make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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