WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
