id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
