hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
