Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize