The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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