just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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