fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
