why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize