I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
