i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
