So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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