Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
