also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize