Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
