Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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