Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
